The starting point of new life.

Its been the 2nd week and 3rd week coming on in Sarawak. I know it's a little late for all this update but tonight is the 1st night I actually used the wifi at such a speed. Or else, I can't even excess to twitter :(

To a lot of parents as well as students from peninsular. It's gonna be a short tough time for us. But that's kinda not for me. I was extremely fine and is kinda excited for coming to Unimas. Things are just the same for me, no difference.

1st Sept 2012.

I woke up at 4.00am in the morning. It's super tiring because I slept at 1.00am earlier. But I guessed it's because of the adrenaline in the body that keeps me awake all time. Get ready and there I leave my home to LCCT airport. Once in LCCT, we check in all our luggage, then we still have a long time till we have to enter the departure gate. Then we saw the people who's flying to Sabah and further study in UMS, talked to them and sent them off because their flight was half an hour earlier than ours :)

Then by the time for us to go into the departure hall, we give our goodbye to family and friends. I know and realized this part is ain't gonna be easy because someone gonna be super emotional at that point. And at that point of time I realized a lot of thing. 

Parents loved their children dearly all the time, they might not tell or show but they do care a lot, they might use the wrong way or use the way you are unhappy with to show you their love, but after all, they still love. Not to put this on anyone but myself. I hated my father for his wrong doing. True, I used the word "hated". I hated him for making my family falling apart. For making my life miserable. My grandma, aunts and others tell me that he loved us a lot but I was so stubborn to listen to it and all I think is he's a bad man and a man that I'll not respect or be in my life. But things and people does change with time, and I changed, not completely but I don't hate him like I did before. Ok. Skip that. This is the problem with me, I don't have a draft with me of what I have to type and I just type everything that's in my mind. Please bare with it. 

So on that particular day, I was flying to Sarawak with Pek, Tan, Teck Yong, Yu Yan, Kian Wei n YY. And this is what I see, Tan's father didn't attend that morning, I wonder why but I did not ask. But his mum and brother was there with him. Took few photo for them and before its time for us to go into departure hall. Tan's mum went already. To me, his mum and dad is not the type of people who'll express their love, and maybe Tan's parents in sobbing for Tan's leaving but they don't let the children see it. Therefore they leave earlier before Tan leave. N that kinda prove when Tan's mum is like asking "Are you ok and getting used there?" when the 2nd week is over already. Tan, if you are reading this. I remember you saying about your mum and your mum. Have you call your dad and talk to him yet? If yes, touch me on my back and tell me yes. If no, its time brother. (Its weird that I post it here, it just cross my mind so bare with it)

For Teck Yong's case. His whole family except the 2nd elder brother wasn't there. For your information, he come from a family of 5 brothers. As I have went to his house for times, I know how his family communicate, how his mother talk and plus minus of stuff. Then before leaving, I saw tears in Teck Yong's mum's eyes. At that point I'm like, opss.  It's human nature so ok, lets move on.

Then for my case.  I felt like I was the most blessed 1 at the moment. I have my whole family with me. Grandma who has something going on later that day still make it there for me. And before leaving, I took the chase to hug everyone of my family. It's probably the only time I hug my grandma since I go to primary school. And same goes to my father and mother. To my surprise, my father was the one with tears in his eyes, at that moment I know that I was the one that's wrong.

There's one thing that I want to share here. I was so wrong and selfish that the way I feel loved is by family doing the thing that pleased me and in that way, I'm loved. But I'm wrong. No matter how or what the parents did, they did it for they love you. You might feel that the way they are doing thing is totally wrong and at times you just have the idea of "F.O." in your mind. But think again, what you can do to argue with them a little lesser and love them a little more? THINK! :)

So there goes the little thing that I picked up from leaving my comfort zone and coming here to Sarawak. The next 3 years is gonna be long tough time. There's a lot of thing that I couldn't let go at my comfort zone. But God has a purpose for me here, and I'll surely find it out and be strong with Christ.

Thanks for reading my long unplanned post. May God be with you through all the good and the bad.
God bless you.

Regards,

PangkyPang